


Always

by Supertana



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Feelings, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supertana/pseuds/Supertana
Summary: Lena didn't want to believe it was true, so there was only one option: take the footage with her and rewatch until she would find some detail that would prove it was all fake and Kara hadn't betrayed her.ORLena has a breakdown after finding out her best friend has been lying to her for years and Kara finds her.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> We all just need a lot of fics after that ending to get us through the hiatus, here's mine!
> 
> English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes :)

Taking the footage with her probably wasn’t the best idea Lena had ever had, but she didn’t think about it. Because this couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t ... and she needed to rule out every possibility that it wasn’t. Lena didn’t believe in miracles, only scientific proof, but oh how she wished that for once in her life a miracle would happen. She  _ needed _ this with every fibre of her being, of her heart.

Lena had gone straight to her office after game night where she had to look into those lying puppy eyes all evening. God how she wanted to hate those eyes. It had been complete torture; Kara smiling at her with that certain look, Kara laughing at her, Kara being Kara to her. Oh how Lena had wanted to throw that bottle of wine to Kara to show her she knew, show that she was hurt. But she couldn’t. Because somewhere, deep inside, she still hoped it was all a scheme of Lex. So, for the past hour Lena had watched the footage of Kara, or Supergirl, over and over again, lightning up the dark office, hoping she would find  _ something _ . Even if it was just one detail that would prove Lex had somehow managed to edit those images of Kara. That it was all some twisted lie from Lex to get into Lena’s head. 

Of course she knew this was real, she wasn’t stupid. But her whole body was hurting with a pain Lena had never felt before. Like her heart had shattered into a million pieces and this time couldn’t be put together again by just one smile from Kara. The one person Lena had trusted with her life had betrayed her, kept a secret that defined Kara her whole being. What had Lena done wrong? Why didn’t she deserve Kara’s trust?

The amount of alcohol wasn’t helping her thoughts either, it only numbed the pain so she kept drinking. All those moments they had shared, were they even real? Was Kara just pretending to be Lena’s friend to get exclusives for CatCo? Why was she the only one who didn’t know? Was it because of her being a Luthor? She vaguely remembered Supergirl, now Kara, commenting on that, which somehow managed to break her heart even more.

She stood up from her chair and walked to the screen that showed Kara blowing away those men.  _ Protecting Lena _ . Because that’s what she also did. She was always there. Always.  _ Always _ . But not anymore. A tear fell and Lena broke. Couldn’t stop. She let her body fall down in front of the flashing screen. Her head in her hands. She wept. Wept like she had never done. Her best friend protecting and lying to her over and over again above her head on the screen. 

It wasn’t fair. Why,  _ why _ couldn’t there for once in her life be someone who loved her back. Loved her with the whole definition of the word. Why was there always something that drove people away from her? Why was the only person that truly mattered just like everyone else?   
Her eyes found Kara’s who was just about to burn all those pictures of them together in that weird room. It was too much. One click on the remote still in her hand and Kara was gone, the screen black.  

Her whole body was shaking. Tears just kept falling. Was there an end to all this pain? Would it ever stop? Kara,  _ her  _ Kara, not the lying flying superhero, wasn’t going to take away her pain this time. How strong her powers might be. God how Lena wanted to rip out her own heart and never feel again. 

‘Lena..?’ Great. Now her sweet sweet voice had worked her way into her head. Like she wasn’t trying to hate her.

‘Lena,’ It was a soft sound, and suddenly there were two strong arms wrapping around her small frame. The feeling of being safe from her emotions and the outside world overtook her for one second just because of the body that held her close. That familiar soft body with Lena's favorite scent. Kara squeezed her and shushed. Her head on top of Lena’s, stroking her hair. 

‘I’m here, it’s okay.’ 

And then it all came crashing back. Because no, it wasn’t okay. Nothing was. It was all one big mess. Lena her body went rigid, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by Kara. 

‘No.’ Lena whispered, her voice trembling. She pushed Kara away and the shock that showed on Kara’s worried face felt a bit like a victory. Yes, she should feel the pain Lena was feeling, even if it was just a small bit of it.

‘Lena, what’s going on?’ Lena turned her back on Kara, but didn’t dare to stand up for fear her legs would give in. 

‘What’s going on?’ Lena snorted. ‘ _ What’s going on! _ ’ Anger, pain, misery, they were all there in that one sentence. 

‘Lena, please... tell me what’s going on. I can help!’ Kara sounded so desperate and Lena hated herself that she still cared, still wanted to forget everything and just fall into Kara’s arms. But that was out of the question. It was all so confusing. She didn’t know how to act anymore, so her instincts took over.

A bitter laugh escaped and Lena faced her. 

‘Right. Because that’s what a superhero would do right? Help the ones in need. Moral obligation and all. Is that what I was for you? Some sad broken person who needed help?’ She tried to wipe away the tears, but they just kept falling. She hoped they would stop soon.

A gasp escaped from the woman who used to be her everything the moment Lena had said  _ that  _ word. All sort of emotions crossed Kara’s face; fear, worry,  _ pain _ . While in Lena anger was slowly taking over.

‘I- how ...?’ 

‘That is your reply? God, I thought Kara Danvers was better with words. But I guess I should call you Supergirl now, right?’ Her left hand turned into a fist and she had to stop herself from punching the girl of steel multiple times in her chest. But that wouldn’t be wise, Lena would break her hand. Although … maybe that pain would take away the pain inside of her for a few hours? 

‘Lena, I’m so sorry. I.. I wanted to tell you,’ 

‘A little too late for that, isn’t it?’ 

‘Please. Let me explain.’ Her eyes were pleading and she instantly reached for Lena, but the look on Lena’s face made her pull back again. God, they must look like such a mess still sitting there on the floor of the dark office.

‘Go away.’ Her voice was calm, but threatening. And judging from the rejection on Kara’s face, it had the right impact. 

‘It’s over  _ Supergirl _ . You can’t save everyone.’ 

‘Lena, it was never that …’

‘Go!’ And this time Lena yelled. It really was a night of losing control over her own body, wasn’t it? 

Lena turned her face towards the floor again, watching the tears fall. She couldn’t bare being in the same room with Kara. Because yes she was mad and felt betrayed, but also because she didn’t trust herself. It was like she was holding on to those last bits of control to not fling herself into Kara’s arms, her home. 

She heard the woman stand up. This was it. It was over. They were over. The footsteps were walking away from her slowly. Lena wondered if Kara would feel relieved. Relieved that she no longer had this wreck of a person to take care of. To finally be rid of all the Luthors. 

But instead of hearing the sound of Supergirl flying away, or the open and closing of the door like she was expecting, she heard that beautiful soft voice again that was filled with sorrow.

‘No.’ Kara said. Lena looked up, ready to yell some more even though her body was emotionally exhausted. 

‘No. I’m not going anywhere. You know why? Because I promised you on that couch that I would be here for you, always.’ 

No. No. No. Could she please  _ stop _ . Lena didn’t want her pity. But before she opened her mouth, Kara continued. 

‘I told you that you were not going to lose me, and I would always protect you. So I’m staying.’

And now Lena just saw red. 

‘I don’t need you to stay here just for a promise! The only thing I ever needed was for you to believe in me! To trust me! To love me! And you just saw me as your charity project, hoping this Luthor wouldn’t cause you and your superhero cousin any more trouble!’

‘Lena, no you’re wrong …’ Clearly Kara hadn’t anticipated this. Probably thought Lena would run right back into her arms, judging by the shock on Kara’s face. Lena couldn’t just fall for her words again. Her heart was already probably beyond repair, it would be a foolish thing to do.

‘Stop lying!’ Lena yelled again. ‘Do I need to remind you of the fact that when I asked you what your real name was, you said, and I quote; “That’s not a great question for a Luthor to ask someone in my family.”’ Lena stood up, trusting the anger on keeping her steady. 

‘I …’ Kara stammered. 

Lena folded her arms, waiting for Kara to fight herself out of this battle she had already lost.

‘What I did was wrong.’

‘Damn right it was wrong! This whole thing is wrong! But at least now I can see clearly. As I said, you were just trying to prevent me from doing any damage to your people. You never cared for me. What a fool I was.’ 

‘That is not true!’ Tears were streaming down Kara’s face, which made Lena even more angry. Kara didn’t deserve to cry. This was all her doing. She could have prevented this.

‘Then tell me what is! For once in your life tell me the fucking truth!’ 

‘As I said, I was protecting you! I didn’t have a choice!’ her arms were waving and she dared to take a step forward, which Lena answered with a step back. She needed to keep distance to be able to do this.

‘No choice? Oh please.’ Lena huffed. ‘You always had a choice; trust or don’t trust me. We both know which option you picked.’ She turned her back to Kara again and grabbed the bottle of scotch from her desk, pouring some into a glass. 

‘I couldn’t tell you who I was. There was already a target on your back, knowing my real identity would only make it worse. I’ve already put too many people I love in danger just because they know who I am. I … I just wanted to keep you safe from that.’

‘That’s one hell of a lame excuse.’ Lena urged herself to calm down, because if she gripped the glass any harder, it would shatter.

‘It’s the truth.’ 

‘There might be some truth there, yes. Not that I would believe anything you would say to me right now,’ she put the glass to her lips and emptied it. Yes. Perfect. That buzzing feeling was exactly what she needed to reach that feeling of emptiness. She faced Kara again. Witnessing the blonde woman in a state of panic and defeat.

Kara let out a sigh, her shoulders slumped. 

‘I was afraid.’ She almost whispered.

‘Afraid?’ 

‘Yes.’ Kara closed her eyes. 

‘I was afraid that once you knew, it would never be the same again. When I’m with you, I can put that part of me away for a while. Pretend it’s just you and me and not the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. Talk about ordinary stuff, with you looking at just Kara and not Supergirl.’ 

Lena frowned. She hadn’t expected that.

‘If you knew I was Supergirl … it would change … everything. So I didn’t. Kept telling myself I would tell you eventually, but there was always something going on. And I knew I would break your heart if I told you.’ 

No. She couldn’t talk it all alright with just a few sentences. Lena wanted to stay mad, it couldn’t be over this quick when she felt so much pain. But those sad puppy eyes, that defeated look on Kara’s face made it so so difficult. Magically Kara was already picking up those million pieces of her heart and putting it together like one big puzzle with duct tape.  _ How? _ So instead of just giving in, which would be the easy way, Lena decided to choose the hard way. She wasn’t going to fall for Kara all over her again.

‘So you just used me as an escape?’ 

‘What … no!’ Kara yelled, eyes red from crying.

‘You just said that! You never cared for me as a person! You only cared about yourself.’ 

‘I didn’t!’ 

‘Give me one good argument that-’ 

‘I love you okay! I love you and I was afraid I wouldn’t even get to be close, even if it was as a friend, to you if I told you my secret!’ 

Wait, what? 

‘There you have it, I love you Lena Luthor.’ 

Lena her body went rigid again. 

‘I love everything about you. Your amazing strength, your weaknesses, your brains, your beautiful smile, the color of your eyes, the way you feel like there’s nowhere I’d rather be. That I don’t have to be Supergirl with you, because you’re everything that is good in this world, no matter what people say.’ It was as if Kara couldn’t stop. That she had opened something and couldn’t close it again. 

‘When I’m not with you, I feel this need to be everywhere at the same time so I can save everyone. But when you’re near me, I can let those worries go because you keep them at bay. You’re  _ my _ safe haven, a safe haven from my own thoughts and fears.’ Tears were streaming down Kara’s face and she looked so lost, but at the same time ... freed?

Lena felt … a lot. There, in front of her, was the strongest, most beautiful creature alive. And she cried because she  _ loved _ Lena. She was here because she  _ loved _ Lena. For a minute it was just the sound of Kara’s sobbing cutting through the silence, her body shaking. Lena just stood there. Trying to understand what had happened while silent tears fell. 

Kara loved her. She loved Kara. All this time they were dancing around one another. Kara lied because she just loved Lena and thought Lena didn’t love her back. She lied out of fear that the second Lena found out, she wouldn’t even have that tiny part of Lena anymore. That she would lose her completely. But Lena  _ did _ love her back. 

Suddenly everything clicked. Yes she was still hurt, but somehow it all made sense. So Lena did the only logical thing to do. She stepped forward, tilted Kara her chin so she could look into those perfect confused eyes who just wanted to feel safe and normal somewhere too. Kara loved her. That was the only thing that mattered for now. Not thinking about anything else Lena leaned in and locked their lips. 

It was everything and more. So much more. After recovering from the shock, Kara reacted right away. Suddenly her arms were around Lena her waist, pulling her as close as Kara could against her. Wanting to feel every bit of her body. Lena sighed. This was it. As if everything had lead up to this particular moment. God Kara's lips were soft.   
Lena felt Kara’s tongue looking for entrance, and she happily obliged. Her hands dived into Kara’s hair, like she had dreamt of so many times. It seemed as if the world was ending and this was going to be their last kiss. And oh my God Kara could kiss. Kara’s tongue did things to which Lena’s whole body reacted and a moan escaped. It wasn’t a need for sex type of feeling, well maybe a bit, but it was mostly the need to feel the other one close. To feel every part of the other ones body, realizing they had been on the verge of losing each other. It was desperation, happiness, fear, relieve and so much more. They just never wanted to let go, afraid that this moment would be taken away from them. 

After about ten minutes they finally slowed down. Foreheads touching. 

‘Wow,’ Kara breathed. 

‘I know.’ Lena softly smiled, wishing that kiss could have gone on forever.

‘Lena, I really am so sorry.’ They locked eyes. 

‘Take me home first.’ 

They were going to talk where they could be excluded from the outside world for however long it was going to take. Lena knew they weren’t at a good place yet, but there was a start because she was beginning to understand. Even though she still hurt, she saw hope. They would have time, take time, and not walk away. They were going to face this together, because now they knew the one thing that mattered: they knew they loved each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, feel free to leave comments and/or kudos!


End file.
